in The Momma Life

No wonder they call it “Terrible Two”

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no-wonder-they-call-it-terrible-two

I am a new parent so I’m still in the process of learning everything about motherhood. I have not much experience in handling kids (taking care of my nieces and nephews for an hour doesn’t count) until I had my own. I’ve also heard a lot of complaints from parents with two-year old kids. Now I know why.

My eldest daughter is two and I must say, she’s really handful. A real test of patience. Our everyday dealings consist with shouting, tantrums, crying, running around, climbing, and endless “No” every time she doesn’t get what she wants. And the hard part is, I can’t understand her especially when she throws a fit. Her language only consists of ABC, 1-2-3 and simple words that conversing with her is NOT even possible.

And worse, she can’t even stay put in a one place (like her :”behave” is just for two seconds followed by nonstop clapping). I have to admit mommies, it’s not very pleasant to my ears and sometimes, I lose my cool. I’m not a believer of spanking or punishing a child this early since I don’t think she’ll understand the concept yet and she end up hating me or getting scared of me.

So I read about “terrible two” and decided to write about it. To all the new moms who’s also struggling with their two-year old, read on. Here are some of the things I discovered in dealing with the Terrible Two stage. Terrible Two

1) Temper tantrums are normal. Yes mommies, apparently tantrums are part of the child’s normal development. The child is still undergoing major changes involving motor, intellectual, social and emotional behavior. Since kids are not able to communicate effectively, they resort to tantrums. Experts also say that the tantrum is a child’s way of saying that they re scared or under stress.

2) Stay calm.  Your tot is already throwing a fit so don’t add up to the noise. As a parent, always keep your cool and stay calm. Try to comfort your child at first. But if s/he refuses, wait for your child to calm down because this will ensure that you are not encouraging a bad behavior. I have been doing this with my little girl and I must say that it has been effective. The more I ask her to stop, the more she’ll cry. So I just let her do her thing for a few minutes and once she’s ready to be consoled, that’s the time I’ll step in.

3)  Provide reassurance after. Once your child calmed down, make sure to talk to him/her in a calm, relaxed manner. Afterwards, assure your child that you love him/her. Embrace him or her and tell your child that you’re not mad at them. They may not (yet) understand what you’re talking about but the act of hugging and touching is enough assurance for them.

4) Try to anticipate the outbursts. In my experience, my daughter always throws a fit when she’s sleepy. To prevent her from incessant crying, I turn of the TV, turn off the lights and carry her until she falls asleep. I even sing her a song because it helps her calm down.

Pay attention to your child’s reaction on various situations. Give him/her something to eat or play with, provide comfort or use distractions such as toys or books to avoid the outburst.

5) Commend your child for good behavior.  Praising your child can make a lot of difference in his/her development. Clap or say “good job” if you noticed that your child was “calm” enough to handle a certain situation.

6) Encourage discipline and independence. Even though kids won’t understand the concept clearly, imposing discipline and independence should not be delayed. Teach your kids the difference between right or wrong or give them options that will make them feel they are in control.

7) Try to make it as positive as possible. Two year old is the time where the child is more curious and observant. Let them explore (with supervision, of course) the world around them and allow them to discover things on their own. And don’t forget to provide support when your child is angry, scared or frustrated. And if you can, teach your kid to have an outlet. In my case, my daughter’s Pooh, her security blanket by the way, helps her calm down.

And mommies, it is important to use positive language when talking to our kids. I noticed that my kid screams every time I say no. Instead of saying “Stop or no running,” I just say “Walk slowly.” Nagkakaintindihan naman kami 🙂

Despite the headache and stress, I still think it is important to savor the moment. Kids will only be kids once and it’s better to pay attention on their milestones rather than stressing out yourself on the “terrible two” stage.

Ayi

A former law student turned stay-at-home mom of two. Join me and read my adventures as I go through this crazy world called parenting and mommy-hood.

20 Comments

  1. ceemee

    I really have a hard time keeping calm when they are throwing tantrums. I really need to walk away or something when I’m so angry.

    02 . Feb . 2015
    • Ayi

      Same here mommy. I’m not exactly the most patient person in the world, which is why I sometimes wonder where I get it when my kids are throwing tantrums. Hehehe

      02 . Feb . 2015
  2. thepinayfoodtographer

    I’ve raised 2 girls, one is 9 and the other one is 5. This post is so true! Parenting starts as early as 2 not when they are teens or else, everything will be misunderstood.

    02 . Feb . 2015
  3. Nicole Paler

    I am again entering the terrible twos with my youngest boy, and what I can say is that all the things that you have posted have worked for my first born… Now I hope that with experience and research, I can handle my next terrible two better. good luck! 😀

    02 . Feb . 2015
  4. MissKeenReviewer

    Good thing I am past all the tantrums and now our boy is heading to the “independent mode” at 8 I am bracing myself for what’s to come. Parenthood is indeed a blessing. Nice article and the tips would be very useful.-Macy

    02 . Feb . 2015
  5. Lique Dimayuga

    Ah, I can relate to the tantrums and the shouting and misbehaving. But it’s their way of expression, their little bodies want to do so much and they so much energy, so much curiosity! I guess when they are throwing tantrums, they are also discovering, or trying out the end result. so we have to be consistent on disciplining them. Thanks for this post. Now I am at the stage of the terrible threes haha..being a parent is a work in progress 🙂 Good luck mommy!

    02 . Feb . 2015
    • Ayi

      I agree. Even if we read a lot of tips on how to handle kids, you’ll end up following your own gut when it comes to parenting 🙂

      03 . Feb . 2015
  6. Kim @ Mom On Duty

    I’ve learned to extend my patience way beyond I ever thought I could now that I have two toddlers! My boy is going through the terrible twos stage while my daughter is in her “threenager” stage. It’s stressful, but I try to enjoy the phase. Nakakatuwa rin naman sila. 🙂

    02 . Feb . 2015
    • Ayi

      I’m not exactly the most patient person in the world, kaya nagtataka din ako saan nanggagaling patience ko with my kids :)) I have to agree, stressful but once they make lambing, ayan na. Everything’s okay na 🙂

      03 . Feb . 2015
  7. Michelle Solee (@michisolee)

    I feel you because I’ve experienced that too but every time I read my old posts, natatawa na lang ko sa kakulitan ng anak ko when he was 2 yrs old.

    02 . Feb . 2015
    • Ayi

      How old is he na ulit? Yeah, I wonder what my reaction will be when that day comes 🙂

      03 . Feb . 2015
  8. Aleigna Lin Tejada

    I’ve never experienced that stage with my daughter. Now that’s she’s turning 4, though, mej lumalabas. 🙁 Quite stressful and it takes a while for me to calm her down.

    03 . Feb . 2015
    • Ayi

      Good for you. My eldest just turned three and my youngest is almost two and both of them are still in that stage. Hahaha! Really stressful, lalo when they do it in public.

      03 . Feb . 2015
  9. Maan

    I especially agree with the last one. Saying “walk carefully” products better results sa son ko than “don’t run!”

    I, on the other hand, believe in the Biblical prescription of spanking. Of course, the pain is just a “sting” and never done out of anger. I only started doing it when my son was, I think, almost 30 months. Never have I spanked him because he was throwing tantrums (I just ignore them). Instead, I resort to spanking when he deliberately disobeys.

    03 . Feb . 2015
    • Ayi

      I’m not a believer of spanking too unless it is called for. When my girls are in their topak mode, I usually ignore them too and just let them come to me when they’re done. Pero may instances talaga na mapapa-Hay ka nalang sa sobrang tigas ng ulo.

      03 . Feb . 2015
  10. Yvonne Bertoldo

    I’m done facing the horrific terrible two phase of my daughter. Thank God! It really is very hard to be patient when dealing with kid’s tantrum. But once they’re back to their sweet self, they’re just so adorable 🙂

    04 . Feb . 2015
  11. Peachy @ The Peach Kitchen

    My daughter is 7 years old already so i have passed that stage but another one is on the way so I better take note..hee.

    06 . Feb . 2015
  12. mommychinkysoup

    I was very pleased to discover the “ignore” button when the tantrums are just “arte” ones. Of course, i have to double check first that he’s not hurt or in danger. But again, I was really, really pleased to discover that! hahaha 🙂

    10 . Feb . 2015
    • Ayi

      I learned to activate the “ignore” button too, mommy! Hahaha. Good thing it works with my eldest. She’ll just stop crying once she notice na walang pumapansin sa kanya :))

      10 . Feb . 2015
  13. Louisa Mercado (@2livelovelaugh5)

    All great steps, That age can really be a trying time. One thing that helped me was to stop thinking about how the situation was bothering me but why it was happening. Sometime skids just need to let it out release their energy. It passes. Believe me 🙂

    17 . Feb . 2015

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