6 Lessons I Learned from My Husband as a Father
Society dictates that men work and provide for the family while women stay at home and take care of the kids. Slowly, we are moving away from that thinking and embrace the fact that women should also be given an opportunity to work and make a career on their own. Slowly, we learn to accept the fact that it is not only the mother’s sole responsibility to raise the children but fathers should play an important role too. After all, a study showed that an involved dad brings tons of benefits including higher IQ, better grades in school, and high career ambitions among others.
This leads me now to my next point: fathers play a crucial role in the lives of his children.. In fact, parenting should not be left solely on moms. This is why I’m glad that my husband is taking a proactive role in raising our kids. As much as I don’t want to admit (haha!), there are few parenting lessons I learned from him. 1) Be silly.
It doesn’t matter how we look when we do funny faces or say things in weird voices or get dirty while playing in the muddy puddle. Being silly makes the kids laugh and keeps them happy – and that’s more important.
2) Make play part of the activity.
Our youngest was not fond of school-related activities. It’s really hard to make her sit down and finish her tracing worksheets, which often irritates me. Since I don’t want to shout at my kids that much, I just ask my husband to teach our youngest. Surprisingly, they were able to finish her worksheets in minutes without any crying.
I must admit. At the height of my online job, I am often glued to my laptop, finishing one article after another. The only time I’ll stop is during meals, while giving them a bath, and putting them to sleep. My husband, on the other hand, always finds time to bond with them no matter how tired he is. He makes it a point to go home as early as he can so he can still play with the kids, which I admit, nakaka-guilty. For him, it’s not about the quantity but the quality of time he had with the kids.
So, I decided to reduce my workload and started paying more attention on kids. They grow up so fast and I want to make the most out of the time with them.
As a father, he is not afraid to show his soft, emotional, malambing side. He doesn’t mind sitting in a girly chair and play Tea Time with the kids. He doesn’t mind showing how much he loves our girls even when other people are around. He would readily give our girls a hug every time they cry. This is something I am still working on since I have the tendency to put my pride first more than anything else, but slowly, I am getting over it.
5) Say no to pressure.
Kids learn at their own pace, so they say. When I was looking for a big school for my daughter, I was often asked if she could read already. Pressure crept into my system, so I wanted my daughter to learn how to read before I bring her for assessment. Aside from that, I always have the tendency to introduce new concepts to my kids to “boost their learning.”
My husband believes otherwise. He doesn’t let pressure get in the way because kids learn according to their own pace. Kids learn differently from the others. Just because a child doesn’t know how to recite the alphabet by two years old, it doesn’t make him/her delayed or less smart than the others.
6) Just relax.
I tend to get irritated over the little things – wrong toy inside the toy box, mess during mealtime, cluttered room, sudden spills on the couch, and the list goes on. Worse, the result isn’t good because I lash out on my kids. My husband always remind me to relax as much as possible and not fret over little things. So what if the playroom is a mess or the kids don’t use the spoon and fork properly. Kids are kids and everything they do is part of their play, imagination, and learning. Relax.
How about you mommas? Any lessons you learned from your husband as a father? Let me know by leaving a comment below!
A former law student turned stay-at-home mom of two. Join me and read my adventures as I go through this crazy world called parenting and mommy-hood.