Being a parent is difficult. There is no right or wrong and it can be a mixture of different parenting styles that are most appropriate on your kids. At the same time, being a parent means living under the watchful eyes of other parents who think they are the best parents ever.
I can say that I am not the best or the most perfect parent but everything is a learning process.
Just recently, I came across this article on Facebook about modern day parenting. This article was written by a British nanny, published in Huffington Post website and how she describes today’s parenting style as “in crisis.”
According to the article, there are five greatest problems most parents these days commit which can affect a child’s development and attitude as s/he grows up. The article enumerated five problems which I like to summarize – and mainly because I’m guilty of it too. This includes:
1. A fear of our children or letting the child get what s/he wants to avoid tantrums.
2. A lowered bar or the lack of initiative on the part of the parents to teach proper manners and behavior on their kids.
3. We’ve lost the village or the attitude of the parents to feel bad and judge one another when a child throws a fit or didn’t do well in school.
4. A reliance on shortcuts which means not letting a child discover on its own.
5. Parents put their children’s needs ahead of their own, which of course is self-explanatory.
I have to admit, though I am not proud of it, that I am guilty of these five problematic areas. My almost three year old daughter can be a pain and a cause of major headache most of the time. She wants everything her own way and when she doesn’t, she throws everything her hands can grab and cry and shout all at the same time. I have a tendency to let it do her own way and give her what she wants to avoid tantrums and incessant crying for reasons I can’t understand. After all, a child’s nonstop cry and shout can be too much for my ears to handle.
This article definitely gave me a different take on parenting. As a parent, we have to show our kids who’s in control and not the other way around. Yes, we do love them and we want them to be happy and have everything they want but life when they grow up is not as sweet as it seems. As parents, we need to let our child learn and discover things on their own, or find ways to soothe themselves when a toy or a food was taken from them, or let them have their tantrums until their throat is too tired, no sound is coming out from the mouth. We may not notice it yet but we don’t want our kids to end up selfish, impatient and rude simply because we easily give in to their demands, no matter how unreasonable it may be.
Also, being a parent doesn’t mean creating a shelter that is different from the real world. We’re not living in a bubble here and one way or another, our kids will discover how cruel and unfair life can be – and they may not be able to handle it because we are too busy protecting them and giving them everything they want.
Let our children be kids. Let them discover the world on their own. Our role as a parent involves taking care of them but not doing everything for them. We, as parents, are tasked to guide our children, discipline them and help them become a better, stronger and more mature individuals.
Check out the full article here.
Ayi is a stay-at-home mom of two. When her kids are in their best state, she keeps up with chores, work, and ensuring that her sanity is intact. Join her as she navigates through this rollercoaster ride called motherhood.