I am writing this post with only less than five hours of sleep. Our house is a mess and there are piles of clothes waiting to be folded and placed in their respective cabinets. Good thing I had the energy to wash the dishes (a MUST before I go to sleep) and my kids sleep early now, so I got some time for myself. But no, I refuse to sleep because there’s work to be done and the deadline clock is ticking.
You see, my everyday starts at 4 to 4:30 am where I prepare baon of my kids and squeeze some work. Then I take a bath, change, and wake up my eldest to get her ready for school. Before 6:30am, we’re off to school – and I say hello to traffic and angry, on-a-rush drivers. As soon as I drop my daughter in school, I head back home to get my youngest ready for school. Since I am also the designated driver, I have to bring my youngest to school, chill for a few minutes to catch my breath (and talk to other mommies), and then I have to go back to my eldest’s school to pick her up (yes, my kids go to different schools). As soon as I’m done with her, we go back to my youngest’s school and wait for her to finish until 12. Every Tuesdays and Thursdays, my kids have reading class, which means we’ll be home few hours before dinnertime.
Yes, I spend most of my morning time on the road, rushing from one school to another, battling with traffic, and always in a hurry. Then there are endless chores, countless errands, and work waiting to be done, which I have to worry about while squeezing every ounce of energy left by coffee in my system.
Yes, I am tired. I feel tired. ALL THE TIME. My ultimate dream is to wake up one morning and NOT worry about anything, which is obviously next to impossible. There are big and small human beings counting on me everyday and life goes on no matter how tired I am. I just drown myself with coffee and something sweet to keep me up and running.
To all the moms out there, I know how tiring it is to manage the kids, relationship with our partners, and the household. It’s okay. I know how hard it is and there’s nothing wrong with being tired and taking a break once in a while. It’s okay to sit down and get some rest. It’s okay to do some chores later or the following day for extra minutes of break. It’s okay to not wake up early to get full seven- or eight-hour sleep. It’s okay to watch your favorite teleserye or movie in Netflix. It’s okay to buy food once in a while because cooking three meals a day everyday can be exhausting. It’s okay if you weren’t able to prepare a bento-slash-Instagram worthy baon for your child because you woke up late. It’s okay if the house is not squeaky clean everyday because you’re too tired to function. It’s okay if you weren’t able to finish the kids’ worksheets or forgot to read them a bedtime story. IT’S OKAY. You’re still doing a GREAT JOB being a mother and a wife or partner to your man no matter what. Don’t let other people or the society define what being a good mom and wife we should be. Set your own standards and always strive to be the best that you can be, not just for your kids and man, but also for yourself.
It’s okay to feel tired. We all experience that. But please, let’s take care of ourselves, too. A lot of people are counting on us. Read a book. Drink coffee. Watch a movie. Take long baths. Schedule a regular me-time. Take a break. Breathe. We all deserve it.
Ayi is a stay-at-home mom of two. When her kids are in their best state, she keeps up with chores, work, and ensuring that her sanity is intact. Join her as she navigates through this rollercoaster ride called motherhood.