in The Momma Life

10 Things I Learned and Experienced from Having a Second Child

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I want to have three kids. Hopefully, two boys and a girl. Of course, I was blessed otherwise. I have two girls and yet to have a boy. However, I didn’t plan a close age gap between my girls. My husband and I’s plan was after giving birth to my eldest, I’ll finish law school first then have baby number two. In the middle of the term and before A turned one, I found out I was two months pregnant. 

To cut the story short, A and J have an age gap of 1.5 years. To be honest, I have so many questions, fears and worries about raising two kids. I was amazed by how my parents raised us and treated us equally (I have three younger siblings) and wondered if I could do the same. Unfortunately, there is no rule book or manual that helped me prepare on how to handle a second child. 

Anyway, here’s what I learned and experienced. Second Child1. It means double everything. Double the milk, double the diapers, double the clothes, double the laundry, double the mess, you name it. 

2. It can be overwhelming. It takes me forever before I finish packing the baby bag. My husband always tells me, “Ang tagal niyo” as soon as we get inside the car. Leaving one kid unsupervised is also a big no-no. My day won’t be complete without crying fest,  pretend play and lots of shouting. Of course, things get easier now that they are a bit bigger. 

3. A jam-packed schedule. It’s all about play classes, doctor’s appointment and everything about the kids. 

4. Master the art of dealing with different sets of needs. I have my fair share of funny and chaotic stories with having two kids in the house. There are days when my kids decide to be on their best behavior. Most of the time, it’s just full of crying, screaming and laughing. I also experienced one child telling me she has to go potty while I’m breastfeeding. Or I’m putting my youngest to sleep and my eldest asking me to put her diaper. There is even a battle between Frozen and Tangled. Oh, you get the picture. 

5. Synchronized naps in the afternoon are once in a lifetime. Seriously. At least I mastered putting my kids to sleep – both at the same time at night. 

6. It can be hard to find a nanny. Finding a nanny these days is hard. Imagine if there are two (or more) kids in the house. Before I hire someone, I always inform them of my kids’ ages and what they could expect. If they’re up for it, then I’m happy. Problem solved. Otherwise, I have to move on to the next – just in case there is. 

(I had an experience where a yaya stayed with us for less than 24 hours. Hindi niya daw kaya ang two kids.)

7. “When will you have baby number three?” Seriously, I always get this. Since I have two girls, people always asks me when I plan to get pregnant again, hoping it would be a baby boy (or if in your case, people will ask if you’re done because you already have a boy and a girl). Come on. I want to enjoy my kids first. Yes, I want a baby boy but not now. 

8. Double the happiness, double the fun. Watching them play together, hearing them laugh together and seeing my eldest being protective to her little sister makes my heart melt. Their laugh is one of the sweetest sounds in the world. I just love seeing my kids grow close to each other. Yes, it can be a chaos inside the house and the never-ending chore of picking up toys and putting it back in the toy box will always be there. At the end of the day, there’s too much happiness to be shared with having more kids.  

9. You know better. This is what I like about having a second child. I know better. Parenting books and childbirth classes helped me prepare but I have no idea what will happen after giving birth to my eldest. I was clueless in everything. With my second child, everything was a breeze and much, much easier. In fact, changing diapers, burping and bath time didn’t scare me anymore. 

10. There’s so much love to give. I never thought I could love so much when I my second child was born. I was even scared if I could give the same love and attention to little J. When she was born, I realized that my heart got bigger and I am capable of giving love more than I thought I could. I think that’s what being a mom is all about.  

Ayi

A former law student turned stay-at-home mom of two. Join me and read my adventures as I go through this crazy world called parenting and mommy-hood.

25 Comments

  1. Lique Dimayuga

    This is a wonderful post. I could definitely relate to everything! Thanks for sharing this πŸ™‚

    19 . May . 2015
    • Ayi

      Thanks for dropping by mommy πŸ™‚

      19 . May . 2015
  2. Viva Kitchen Goddess

    I think having kids with close age gap makes them “close” since they get to do things together. πŸ™‚

    19 . May . 2015
    • Ayi

      That’s true πŸ™‚ Instant playmates pa πŸ™‚

      19 . May . 2015
  3. Mamanee San Luis

    Sigh at number 6. I surely know the feeling since I also have 2 kids who are just a year apart with age. It’s been my struggle to find a suitable Nanny and getting to nannies isn’t really an option. πŸ™

    19 . May . 2015
    • Ayi

      Most yayas these days are really (sorry for the word) maarte. I can’t find someone who’ll last with us for more than a year.

      19 . May . 2015
  4. Mommy Anna

    When I gave birth last 2010 they want me to have another one agad sabi nila parang isang alaga na lang and gastos they can share milk, diapers etc. But I know and I feel that I am not ready. Now he is four baka puwede na sundan next year πŸ™‚

    19 . May . 2015
    • Ayi

      True, isang gastos nga lang. But mahirap din πŸ™‚ Pwede na yan mommy πŸ™‚ I’m sure he’ll be good brother and pwede na rin utusan πŸ™‚

      19 . May . 2015
  5. Rowena Wendy Lei

    3 kids seem ideal to me too but after the 2nd it just seems so tedious… XD

    19 . May . 2015
    • Ayi

      That’s how I feel right now :))

      19 . May . 2015
  6. MrsMartinez

    Ang cute ng babies mo! Pwede mo silang ayusan as twins hehe

    20 . May . 2015
    • Ayi

      Thanks mommy πŸ™‚ Actually hindi nga sila magkamukha. For some reason, my eldest is chinita and my bunso parang doll ang eyes. Hehehe.

      20 . May . 2015
  7. tweenselmom

    The problem with having a second child is minsan, the bunso is taken for granted. This is what I am working on to avoid kaso minsan hindi maiwasan, kasi si Ate usually may budget, pagdating sa bunso, wala na.

    20 . May . 2015
    • Ayi

      That’s true. I noticed also that between my kids, mas favorite si Ate. I also make sure that my kids get equal attention and no favoritism.

      20 . May . 2015
  8. Mommy Roxi (@MommyRoxi)

    My boys naman have a gap of almost 3 years. Pwede na since the Kuya is more understanding about the baby and why he can’t do certain things around the baby. I’m still learning how to balance everything between the two. For the first 3 months, my husband and I found ourselves crying (of joy and fear!) because there are now two boys that are ours to care for until forever!

    20 . May . 2015
    • Ayi

      Me naman, ako umiiyak! It is really overwhelming and there are so many emotions, lalo na with my kids kasi they have a close age gap. But it gets better and easier eventually πŸ™‚

      20 . May . 2015
  9. Celin Mendoza

    Finding a very trustworthy yaya is really difficult especially when you have 2 or more kids. Seldom are those who are really considerate and sincere in their work. Kaya dapat hands on tlga si nanay even if you are a working mom πŸ˜‰

    20 . May . 2015
    • Ayi

      That’s true. There are times I wanted to go back to work. But if I think about the kids, worth it ang pagiging stay-at-home mom πŸ™‚

      20 . May . 2015
  10. Vance

    Being a mom, no matter how many kids you might have is quite difficult because you have to be there for your kid/s 24/7. But it’s all worth it esp. after seeing your kids excel in something that you’ve helped nurture them with.

    20 . May . 2015
  11. work@homeMillie

    I have four kids and still learning! My first two kids taught me how to be more responsible. With my third and fourth, I became more patient. :)Learning is endless when you have kids.

    21 . May . 2015
  12. Ma. Yvette Heart (@mayvetteheart)

    I go for #4. Different set of needs πŸ™‚ Thank you for sharing and true endless learning. πŸ™‚

    22 . May . 2015
  13. Jem Alvarado (@esupermommy)

    Hi Ayi, I am a mom of two also. I agree in the Double the fun and happiness – of course double the care and attention πŸ™‚

    24 . May . 2015
  14. Rhoda Fajardo

    I can totally relate to this. I have 3 daughters. Good thing my eldest is already big enough to help me take care of her 2 younger sisters (ages 3 years and the youngest is 8 months).

    Motherhood can be overwhelming and tiring. But its the best job ever πŸ™‚

    25 . May . 2015
  15. Louisa Mercado (@2livelovelaugh5)

    My first 2 are a year apart and there are advantages and disadvantages talaga. They’re in their teens now but it was exhausting when they were smaller. Now I have a 4 year old and they have a pretty big age gap.

    26 . May . 2015
  16. mumwrites (@vixquips)

    i have an only child, a boy who has the energy of 3 kids, so i can only imagine how difficult it will be to have 2 or more children. but i thought it will be doubly amazing as you will get loads of hugs + kisses times two! ^_^

    05 . Jun . 2015

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