Photo from photolibrarian, Creative Commons, Flickr
Okay, don’t get me wrong here. I love my husband, I really do. Despite all our misunderstandings and arguments about issues I can’t remember anymore, I will always appreciate the things he do for me and the girls. And yes, he really is a loving, supportive one so kudos to him.
Of course, there are moments when I wish he does this and that instead of this. There are also instances when I don’t feel like doing this – and I don’t mean to hurt his feelings. The problem is there are moments when I don’t feel like talking and just give him a cold treatment (oops, I’m such a bad wife). Yes, sometimes – or even most of the time – I would just bottle up my feelings to avoid confrontation or arguments. Sadly, this has been part of my system way before we even met and I still have difficulty getting rid of it.
Call me crazy or selfish or selfish or even a bad wife but I do know how important communication is in marriage. I’m currently working on my “opening up and talking” attitude so it’s really taking me some time.
So babe, if you can read this, please don’t get mad at me.
1. It won’t hurt if you help me with the kids – or chores. My husband is a busy one. He wakes up early, leaves the house early although he tries to go home early as much as he can. No ladies, he’s not cheating. It’s just that he has a lot of things on his shoulders that he needs to handle.
When he gets home, all he wanted to do is to relax and work out, which is kind of annoying for me since I’ve been itching to do that too. Our current situation means having one all-around yaya who’s in charge of the chores but I don’t trust her enough to let her take care of the kids too. Hence, I need his help when it comes to kids, especially in changing diapers. Or even in cleaning his clutter. I want him to be in charge once a while too.
2. When I say I’m tired, I really mean it. Here’s my typical day: I wake up early to do some chores, take care of the kids and their needs, and work as soon as time permits. If I’m lucky, I bake and prepare a sumptuous dinner, complete from appetizer to dessert. It may not seem a lot but trust me, taking care of two hyper little girls can be exhausting, especially when the two have topak. Lol!
At the end of the day, all I want is a nice, warm bath, a cup of milk and just lie down as soon as the kids are asleep. It’s not that I’m no longer attracted that’s why I refuse to be intimate or choose sleep over that three-letter word. Trust me, when I say I’m tired, I genuinely do.
3. I need a break too. Oh cmon. I’m only 26. I don’t intend to look like 50 at this stage. So yes, I need a break and I need it at least once every month to help me feel good about myself. And when I take a break, please stop asking me what time I’ll get home. All I’m asking is two hours of me time once a month. Give me a break. Allow me to take care of my needs too.
4. Date me. Okay, at least this one is resolved already. Prior to our Saturday night, date night, my husband and I didn’t go out that much and spend time together. When he asked me what’s wrong, I bluntly told him, “nagsasawa ako sa house. It won’t hurt if we go out once in a while.” After much bargaining, here we are now, making sure to block at least few hours of our day for date nights. Yes, it’s a must. And it’s no-negotiable.
5. Sometimes, I need to hear you say “thank you.” I’m not really asking for too much, except for monthly dates. Lol! Kidding aside, I really love my role as a mom and housewife. Still, I need to know if I’m doing alright or there are some things I need to work on. I need to know if my efforts are appreciated – and it’s not through material things. I need to hear that and yes, a simple thank you will do.
I’m currently working on my issues and believe me, nabawasan na ang list na yan. I’m still trying to adjust and get rid of this annoying habit of mine since I know how it can take a toll in marriage and relationship as a whole. I do open up and tell him everything but when it comes to my personal issues, I just tend to brush it aside. Please don’t judge me here 🙂
How about you mommies? Is there something you wish your husband knew? Do you want to tell him something but you just can’t?
Ayi is a stay-at-home mom of two. When her kids are in their best state, she keeps up with chores, work, and ensuring that her sanity is intact. Join her as she navigates through this rollercoaster ride called motherhood.
How long have you bern married? One of my rules in marriage, is to always be open about your feelings. Don’t nag though, since that is annoying. But he needs to know how you feel and guys sometimes don’t really understand women, so we need to tell them…(dont hint, but say it).
I understand how difficult it is to be a stay at home mom, but remember that the pressures at work could be as demanding. I agree a “me” time should be negotiated.
We’re together for five years but been married for two 🙂 I don’t nag. It’s just that I really have trouble opening up since I’m scared that someone will judge me – so yes, this post is really a courageous thing for me to do na :))
My husband is also busy with work but I’m happy because he always helps me in taking care of my son and even chores. We have no yaya or helper so tulungan talaga kami sa bahay. I understand you because I also ask for my “me time” or “break” from time to time. 🙂 Moms /wives are not superwoman, we deserve need a break.
I agree mommy 🙂 We all need that.
Take advantage this holiday, mahaba ang Christmas break so you can have your “Me time”
I need a break too! A loooooong one… XD
Same, same 🙂
hehe i enjoyed reading your post.. it seemed vry sincere. well, you know men, they only stick with the 3 P’s of manhood, that is to profess, provide and protect. if your hubby is doing the 3p’s then he is part of the majority of responsible men, however, if he can do the rest of those you mentioned… it means he’s already above average, the rare men…. which we all hope they all are 🙂
I have to commend him for his efforts. I know naman that he’s doing he’s best to provide for us. Syempre minsan, I need him to stop thinking that “women = home and kids” lang. Though in fairness kay hubby, when we were maid-less, he was the one doing the laundry and mopping the floors ah 🙂
I am not married yet but I would love to share this with my current beau. There are some things in here that I need to tell him and you worded them in such a way na hindi siya maooffend. 🙂
Thanks 🙂 I’m thinking of showing this narin to my husband actually. hehehe!
I need a break too! But when I do, I find my self checking things a home, with my husband and my son!
I also check on them 🙂 But sometimes, he would constantly ask me like “nasan ka na?” or “di ka pa ba tapos?” stuff like that. I only get two hours off so pagbigyan naman ako 🙂
Omg, I can so see myself in this post! I’ve been wanting to write a similar post to my husband but haven’t had the courage to. Hahaha. I’ll just show this to him. LOL!
I’m too scared to write this post too since I might be judged for being a reklamador :))
Haha, everything you just wrote can represent all the things us wives want to say all the time!
Lol! It’s not just about complaining. Syempre minsan as moms, we have needs to diba? 🙂
A lot! Kulang the space haha.. nah, we take turns sa lahat, considering na we both work at home with no yaya! So, he knows what I’m going through. That’s why we came up with a “me time.” Kung walang me time- tagal na kaming hiwalay! hehehe 🙂
Good to know that you’re both on the same field. Tama ka, he knows what you’re going through. Just like you, having my own me time really helps me get through. Mababaliw ako without it!
I think I have to send the link to this post to my hubby. Haha. I know he sometimes forget these things and needs a reminder.
Glad to know I can help. Lol! 🙂
not yet married but I like the line 3, I need a break too. 🙂
I think you should tell your husband that you need a “me” time at least once a month. Most of the times, husbands are dense when it comes to their wives “needs” …
It’s actually good that you vent out your feelings. At least both of you are aware of the situation, and can now avoid further conflict.
I agree with your list. I think we all need a break… virtual hug to us mommies 🙂
My partner and I are not yet married but I do agree on the list you made. :)) *clap clap* They should really know what we want and what we don’t want ^^
My husband’s love language is service, so he responds naturally to all the items in your list. My personality is straightforward, so when something’s bothering me about our marriage, I tell it to him right away.
I think both of you are still on the “adjustment stage” even though you’ve been together for 5 years already. And it’s a good thing that while you’re on this stage, you’re trying your best to be open to what you need. I believe nothing can be settled when two people talk to each other about their differences and complaints towards each other especially for couples like you two 😉
I have to agree with you. Wala naman hindi nadadaan sa magandang usapan, right? 🙂
Now that I’m pregnant, I’m glad my husband does the laundry for me.heehee.. I feel like a princess with him doing that.