If you were to choose between being a housewife or a working woman, what would you choose?
Thankfully, I got the best of both worlds. I gave up law school when I found out I was pregnant and embraced the role of being a housewife and stay-at-home mom. Apparently, I felt something was missing. I don’t want to rely on allowance from my parents or ask from my husband whenever I want something. Thankfully, my husband introduced to me the world of online jobs, thanks to his batchmate. Three years later, I am still with the same employer and I’m happy with how it is going. I have a steady income (and a good-paying one too!) and I don’t have to rely on my husband for my usual ka-artehan. I could even spend on my kids whenever I want to. 
Recently, I felt this mom guilt. I was working on a deadline and my eldest daughter wanted me to play with her. The house is a mess and there are piles of clothes waiting to be placed inside their respective cabinets. My husband is coming home and our room had toys everywhere. I want to be able to cook more to make sure that the kids are getting the sufficient nutrition they need. I wasn’t able to teach my two-year old that much to prepare her for school, which made mom guilt stronger. At that moment, I want to quit my job. 
I read somewhere that if you chose to be a stay-at-home mom, then make sure you will be good at it. Unfortunately, I was failing at this arena, at least according to my standards. My work took so much of my time that I felt I wasn’t able to spend more time with my kids or fulfill my tole as a housewife. I talked to my husband about the possibility of quitting my work, which he willingly listened to. Then he asked me if I am willing to let go a steady income? Knowing my personality, he knew I’m not the type who would ask or rely on him for my personal needs or quit easily.
I have not fully decided yet on what to do. I’m still torn. I am willing to give up everything for my kids, but that tiny rational part in my brain is telling me not to forget about myself too. I want to spend more time with them and do more activities that could help in their development, but my mind is telling me that it is all about time management and foregoing unnecessary habits. I want to quit because I felt that my work is getting in the way of making me a better mom. My husband said sayang naman if I let go of my job. After all, it’s hard to look for a decent, good-paying, and understanding employer online. 
So, what’s my final answer? I still don’t know. Up to this date, I am torn and have no idea on what to do. A part of me is saying to just give up and focus on the kids and the household while the other half is telling me to work for financial freedom. In the meantime, these tricks helped me fulfill my role as a mom without giving up the job.
- Wake up early. There are a lot of things you can do if you rise earlier.
- Maximize the time when kids are sleeping. Whether it’s an afternoon nap or bedtime, taking advantage of the kids’ downtime could spell a difference.
- Prioritize. If it’s work, work. If it’s kids, kids.
- Schedule. This will help you keep track of the things you need to do for the day – and make sure to stick to it.
- Avoid unnecessary habits. This includes checking mail and social media accounts.
- Limit workload. I talked to my employer and told her that I have to reduce my workload since I need to focus on other equally important responsibilities. Thankfully, she was nice enough to understand my situation.
Whether I quit or not is a question that still has no definite answer. Mom guilt is still there and I don’t think it will go anytime soon. In the meantime, I am trying my best to play different hats and make sure that everything is well-taken cared of. After all, my family is my priority. 
How about you, mommas? What would you do?
Ayi is a stay-at-home mom of two. When her kids are in their best state, she keeps up with chores, work, and ensuring that her sanity is intact. Join her as she navigates through this rollercoaster ride called motherhood.
I feel you! I wanted to quit my job too and just spends my time with my kids but its so hard. I wish I can also work at home so I’ll be with my kids everyday.
I can relate too mommy! The mommy guilt never left me ever since I started working full time when my eldest was just 6 months old. She’s 7 now. I missed milestones and there was even a time she liked her nanny more than me, It is heartbreaking. But I have learned to not to be too hard on myself and just enjoy and fully be in the moment at times that I am with the kids. I TRY to not check my phone too often and really talk to them. The guilt is still there but these helps.
Got three boys and I didn’t quit my job. Now with my fourth son, husband and I decided it’s time for me to stay at home for good and look after our children. They need guidance more than anything else especially that the two are tweens and the other one is nearing to being one. Our youngest is seven months and I do not want him to grow up with just a nanny beside him.
Awww I know exactly how you feel! I struggle in the same area, too, but a small change helped me get out from my frazzled stage: waking up an hour and a half earlier. It’s a small change but it changes my entire day! Perhaps it will help you, too.
Yes Mommy Maan, I do wake up earlier than my kids since it made a big difference. But there are days when my youngest won’t cooperate and wake up early too, minsan as early as 4! Hehehe. Time management na lang talaga š
I am a working mum. And I am also a very hands on mum. There are days when I’d feel guilty. But everytime I see my daughter – smart and happy, wala ma yung guilt. Ganun talaga eh. I have to work for her future. Sayang nga din ang job. Ok pa yung sayo kasi online. Sana ako din may online job. Hahahaha! I have to brave the traffic every effin’ day. Kalurks.
I understand. We have the same sentiments! I have an 8 year olds and a 9 month old and I feel that I couldn’t give them more time since I am always on my laptop.
Same here, I m a working mom, but I cannot easily give up my work. But whenever I’m home as much as possible I wont work at the same time on weekends, need to spend quality time with my family. It’s really hard to choice
Nowadays there are more work-from-home opportunities so it may be more feasible to give up a job that requires you to go out everyday.
I feel you but I can’t suggest a thing (like quitting a job) ’cause it’s not even ideal from my side at the moment š
I feel you in every part. I chose to quit a good-paying job, but when we started we were a single-earner family. It was a bit hard to get by, but we did it anyhow. If your husband’s income will still make the family financially-able, then I guess you can try. Or you can get freelance online jobs that aren’t as demanding. Like I teach English on the side. I negotiate a schedule with my student that’s convenient for both of us. No pressure. Kaya mo yan, mummy! Mummies are capable of doing so much and finding the strength to do so. š
I feel you. Unlike you my scenario is much worst because I am working like a regular job but at night. Everytime I see my son cry when I leave our house really makes me go back and advise my supervisor that I can’t come to my work. I am looking for an online job too so I can have more flexible schedule and especially I can work at home. My advise to you is don’t let go of your job. I can see that this is also important to you. I know you can find a way to resolve this. Aja!
Thank you so much! š Goodluck as well in your online job hunting š
we can love them more and give them more when we are at peace with our own personal choices. i say go with your gut. you dont have to be a full time mom to give them full time love. quality over quantity š good luck!
These are really great words Sarah. Thank you š
My husband and I have our own jobs. There is no other choice but to have one. We have four kids, all studying. 1 college, 1 hs and 2 elementary kids. And we have to support all of them. I can say that supporting them in all their needs is not an easy task. So, I need a source of income aside from what my husband provides. If I were you, if you can afford a house help.. That would be a great relief. You can tend to your work and to your kids.. While Ate help, can tend to other tasks. It’s not easy to raise kids.. I salute those who have kids and not have a Yaya.
My latest helper just left :(( It’s a great relief since I dont have to worry about laundry anymore. Oh well. If only I could find a reliable and lasting helper these days.
That’s a big prob now a days. Tough one to find. I’m just blessed to have a reliable one for years.
Good for you momma š As for me, good luck. Sometimes, I just want to give up finding a reliable househelp these days.
Try to look from your relatives. Never give up. š
I envy you, mommy.ive been wanting tobe a fulltime housewife but our finances cant support that dream yet. Maybe in the future tho. š
Mommy! Don’t give up. I guess… Just take a break? I am actually looking forward to being a WAHM because I wanted to be more hands on with taking care of my now 11 month-old son. Sometimes, I feel bad that I am missing most of his firsts because I am working in the corporate world which makes me an always-busy-or-stuck-in-the-traffic-mom that I am. I don’t have a helper, too. Akala ko noon mababaliw na ako. I really am always tired. I feel like a zombie. Plus mommy guilt always strikes me, straight and sharp. What I actually did is just let go of the illusion of a perfectly cleaned house. Then little by little, naging ok rin ako. What I do is follow my cleaning schedule as much as possible. I’m still striving but the stress is more manageable now.
Good luck to you. Just pray and take a deep breath. And know that you’re not alone on this. Hugs! š
Hi Mommy. Thank you for those encouraging words. It was a bit manageable before when I still had a Yaya. Fast forward today, it’s all me :(( Ang hirap talaga with two kids in their makulit stage but I’m getting by š
You surely will. Ako din nga na isa pa lang ang baby ko pero minsan parang mababaliw na ako. Pero when I look at him smiling at me, everything’s worthwhile. Kaya mo yan. š
Yes, #push :)) Thank you š
Please don’t quit that job! In time you will need that too. Baka burned out ka lang mommy. You may want to take a break. Or make your job more interesting. The key word is balance talaga. I feel you and I love your tricks.
I gave up a high-paying job when I felt that God was callign me to prioritize my family over my career. I was newly-married then. A couple of weeks after I tendered my resignation, I found out I was pregnant with my first child. Good thing I resigned because I was required to be on bed rest during that pregnancy.
After a couple of years, God opened up opportunities for me to continue earning even while at home. That’s through writing, blogging, consulting and through my publishing business. Every time I am torn between family and my career goals, I always choose my family, esp. my kids. I believe that there will be plenty of time for business or career when the kids are older. I don’t want to regret or miss out on their childhood. It’s humbling to rely on my husband in the beginning when I chose to be a SAHM but it’s liberating to know that I was doing the will of God for my life at that time and for our growing family. š I suggest you pray for God’s guidance. š