Here’s the truth: everything changed between me and my man after I gave birth to our eldest. All of a sudden, it was just about our baby and her needs. Yes, we became mom and dad first and put the concept of being a “couple” behind. But we were okay with that, or probably because we refused to talk about it.
Then I got pregnant again and this time, it was much difficult. We’re talking about two kids, two baby girls who both need our attention. Intimacy level dropped massively and we found ourselves in a situation where we felt like strangers forced to live together because of the kids. Yes I know, it was THAT terrible, considering that we’ve been together for only for almost five years.
“Maybe we should go counselling.” He told me one time. “Counselling? Wag kang OA.” I responded. But I know something is going on and I was just too afraid to face the truth that we might be drifting apart.
Yes, that is one BIG bulalo 🙂
So, we changed our marriage strategy. I did my best to be the best wife, so did he. We paid attention to each other’s needs, increased our conversations and decided to have a mandatory date night. It happens once a month, just the two of us, talking, spending time together and doing this one thing we both love: eating.
And here’s why I love date nights.
1. I get to dress up and wear something nice and decent. I love clothes and dressing up – until I became a mom. Sorry but it’s about comfort over fashion, flats over heels, comfy shorts or pants over skirts and dresses. So during date nights, my husband will always tell me to wear this and that since it’s been a while since he last saw me wearing whatever clothes he pulls out of my cabinet. I dress up, fix myself, put some light makeup on and just make me look better than my usual mommy get-up. Gandang di mo inakala ang peg, mommies. 
2. One word, four letters: food! We love to eat, period. During date nights, we get a break from our usual home-cooked meals and try out different restaurants we’ve never been to before. Then we figure out how it was cooked so we can do it at home. Haha! 
3. A trip down the memory lane. You might say that five years is just a short time. Well, I agree. But we probably have the craziest and weirdest “almost five years” compared to couples our age. Ours was a roller coaster ride – literally and figuratively speaking – which makes it more fun to talk about. We sometimes pass by places we’ve been to and recall the memories we have on those places. We also talked about how we were during our college years (we were classmates and kinda close friends ways back) and see how we’ve become over the years. In short, mushy talk.
4. It allows us to take a break from the responsibilities that come along with being a mom and dad. Every one needs a break once in a while, including mommies and daddies. One of the things I like most about date nights is the break we get, even for a few hours. Don’t get me wrong. Even if I’m on leave for a few hours, I never stopped checking on the kids being the usual paranoid mom that I am.
5. Stress reliever. Can you get stressed from watching a movie, eating ice cream or simply walking around BGC? That’s what makes date nights extra special. We forget about the things that stresses us most, give our brains a break and simply focus on what’s in front of us.
6. We get to see what’s latest. Call us boring but we only eat at newly-opened restaurants several months after its launch, or watch movies almost three weeks after since the first day. During date nights, we take it as an opportunity to see what’s new around us and if time permits, try those new things.
7. We get to spend time together as a couple. Since we are temporarily on leave from our duties as parents, date nights allow us to spend time as husband and wife – and nothing else. We act like we’re still boyfriend-girlfriend, flirt with each other and simply enjoy each other’s company. I have to admit that I sometimes miss the carefree life and date nights allow me to feel that once again.
8. We talk, as in really talk. With no one distracting us but the waiter waiting for our orders. We practically talk about anything – our work, how our day went, funny moments, our hopes and dreams, what we plan to achieve by the time we’re on this age, how we can improve our marriage and even politics. Conversations with my husband is something I really treasure.
9. It makes us feel better and more spoiled, after. Another thing that I like about date nights is what happens after. We become closer, we spoil each other through little things, and we realized each other’s worth. Of course, we don’t have to wait for date nights to remember why we are married but it’s a good reminder why we are still together after all these years.
10. Date nights make our marriage better. It’s like version 2.0 over and over. It allows us to reset the clock, fix any mistakes, connect and put things back together and talk about our differences and how we can reconcile them. In other words, it helps us get closer and get to know each other more. So once we get back to our roles of being mom and dad to our girls, everything else feels better and we are able to fulfill our responsibilities with a better and renewed perspective.
How about you mommies, do you go out on date nights too? What do you usually do and how does it make your marriage even better?
Ayi is a stay-at-home mom of two. When her kids are in their best state, she keeps up with chores, work, and ensuring that her sanity is intact. Join her as she navigates through this rollercoaster ride called motherhood.
I super love this post! I’m not yet married but I am aware that there would be a time when couples drift away from each other. I’m glad you were able to work on your issues!
Thanks 🙂 Well, I really think date nights should be a part of every couple’s routine 🙂
That’s true…date nights make marriages better.;) I wrote a post similar to this several weeks back. Iba talaga nagagawa ng date nights (wink..wink)
I agree 🙂 Syempre different yung boyfriend-girlfriend lang :))
I agree that married couples must have a quality time, before I am not aware of this I got pregnant 4 months after the wedding and we become excited to our baby umikot ang life namin sa kanya. We forgot that we are not just a parents but a couple, two years ago when he mentioned that I don’t have a time for him na na kay baby na lahat and we work things out, we agreed at least once or twice a month we have to spend quality time to each other. Mahirap maging stranger sa isat isa.
That’s true mommy. Syempre as a mom, parang instinct mo na to put the kids first above everything else – and we don’t even notice that we’re doing it and forgetting those equally important things too.
Agree with you 100%, we are actually wives first before we became parents. The loving should continue even after parenthood. Short out of town trips would also be nice to rekindle romance.
We wanted to do out of town trips na just the two of us! The problem is nagi-guilty kami to leave the kids behind :))
I totally agree with you. Halos same tayo ng interest, FOOD! As we reached our 100th Monthsary last Nov 24 we discussed that we should go out as a couple kahit 1 beses lang sa isang buwan. This will make your relationship stronger. Iba na kc talaga pag may baby, nag iiba ang priority but let’s not forget na kailangan rin natin ng quality time together with our husband. Nakakakilig db. 🙂
I know! It makes everything better after. Nakakapagusap with no distractions kaya nawo-work out ang issues 🙂 Tapos there’s a feeling pa as if nasa dating stage parin. 🙂
We also love date nights 🙂 Watching a movie, Eating a lot of food and Bonding with my love are some of the things we do (same tayo hehe). I agree that every couple should have time for themselves minus the kids even just for one to two times a week. It doesn’t make you an irresponsible parent if that’s what you have in mind. ^^
That’s what my mom always tells us. As new parents, we make everything about the kids and feel guilty kapag matagal nawawala. My mom would always say na spend time together as a couple kasi kailangan din yun for a stronger, better relationship 🙂
I agree, spending time alone as a couple helps rejuvenate the relationship. We used to have date nights when we still had a nanny. Now that we don’t and I’m a stay-at-home mom, our date nights became DATE DAYs because we leave our son to my mom during the day for a quick date. Hehe 😀
Same din tayo mommy 🙂 Sometimes our date nights nagiging afternoon pa since my kids are clingy and my youngest only sleeps when she’s breastfed. Hehehe.
Yes to date nights and date days ( for Kat :-))! I was so happy when I saw in my wallet the movie tickets that we watched together this year. Record breaking ang taong ito para sa aming mag-asawa! We’ll try to work on the monthly food dates next year. Improvement naman sa quickie late night dates namin sa 711 kapag tulog na ang little boy namin, hehe. Thanks for sharing!
My husband and I love movies too 🙂 Sadly, we don’t get to watch a lot of movies this year because of nanny issues. Kaya most of our dates are food trips 🙂
date nights are a way to reconnect ourselves with our partners. I love having them too, and it’s cause of the top 3 reasons you stated as well. Speaking of, date night pala namin mamaya, thanks for reminding me! :3
I hope you enjoyed your date night! 🙂
I always DEMAND date nights hahaha I love it because we share 3 to 4 hours getting giddy with each other ; ) I think date nights are important.
xoxo
MrsMartinez
I agree. Sometimes we need to take a break too and be a real couple even for a few hours 🙂
Thanks for this reminder. Our lives now revolve around the baby. Wala ng date nights. I think we should work on this more.
No problem 🙂 We used to be like that too. But I became grumpy since I wanted to go out din once in a while :))
We have date runs most of the time naman! Ofcourse I love the other dates that we can spend time together. Most of the time when my mom is here in Manila that we get to out on our own without the little one
My husband and I run too! Prior to having a baby, we always join marathons to keep us fit and healthy narin 🙂 We don’t join marathons that much now but we still run around the village to exercise and bond narin 🙂