Why We Decided not to Homeschool + 10 Questions You Need to Ask Before You Homeschool

May 24, 2015 | Mom Life

UPDATE (May 2020): This article was written in 2015. This is timely because of the Covid-19 pandemic and a lot of parents are considering homeschooling for their kids. I considered this option again given the current situation but thankfully, my girls’ school will implement online distance learning, which means classes will be held through digital means. 

As of this writing, we still believe that our girls will thrive more in traditional school environment. Their competitive nature made it easy for them to adapt in this kind of setting. It is easier for them to be more motivated when they see that their classmates are “doing better.”

If you are thinking about homeschooling, then I hope this article will shed light and help you decide. Make sure you read the comments section since moms gave valid points as well. 

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First things first. I have NOTHING AGAINST homeschooling families. It’s just that it is my and husband’s belief that homeschooling is not the ideal se-up for our girls.

Also, I grew up studying in a traditional, all-girls school. The husband went to a traditional, all-boys school as well. All my life, it’s about teachers, classmates, homework, and lectures. I read stories about kids my age (at that time) who were homeschooled and I thought, they must be freaks and anti-socials. Why would you want to study at home and not make new friends? Since then, homeschooling never entered my mind.

Until I became a mom – and started blogging about my (mis)adventures as a mother.

After joining a mom bloggers group, I was surprised to find out that most stay-at-home moms these days homeschool their kids for variety of reasons. I also read their stories and can’t help but be amazed on how they juggle homeschooling, doing chores and working. All ideas about homeschooling are gone. To be honest, I felt a bit jealous because I don’t know if I could do it. Plus, my husband is not into the idea of homeschooling.

WHY WE DECIDED NOT TO HOMESCHOOL

I tried. I really did. I had the materials (check this to find out where I get my free printable activity sheets), bought books and other education materials and included “Study Time” in our daily schedule. I also learned from other homeschooling parents that you can either enroll and follow a homeschooling course or come up with your own curriculum that will fit your child’s needs.

However, I realized I couldn’t do it.

I had the materials but I don’t know how to start. I came up with a “curriculum” like doing Letters of the Day and the like but my kids, especially my eldest won’t cooperate. I have the space where I can conduct lessons but I can’t make them sit there and they prefer working on the floor. Both my girls also have short attention span and get easily agitated when I make them sit down for 15 minutes straight.

It could be my lack of patience, which is why we considered other educational setting. I explored the possibility of progressive schools by attending several preview classes from different preschools. I noticed how much my eldest enjoyed and was more cooperative. She also enjoyed having other kids around.

But there’s something I realized about homeschooling: it’s about commitment. More importantly, it is also a lifestyle. 

Homeschooling means you play two roles: a mom and a teacher. I realized I can’t do both. Yes, I can teach but with everything else on my plate, I felt I can’t fully commit. I have to admit that I envy homeschooling families and be amazed on how moms could do it.

I also realized that homeschooling must be consensual, which means both mom and dad agree and commit to do it. I don’t have that and my husband is against the idea. The parents must support each other when it comes to teaching the kids at home since it’s not just the mom’s responsibility, right?

Also, it is a lifestyle. I saw how homeschooling families intertwined learning with everyday life. Learning is a never-ending process. We try our best to incorporate learning in what we do, but then again, it’s a question of commitment.

Still, this doesn’t mean I won’t teach my kids. Play and Learn is still part of our daily schedule, which includes painting, teaching concepts, reading books and pretend play. I am proud to say that my three-year old can already write. It’s just that for us, my husband and I feel that there is something schools could also provide.

QUESTIONS TO ASK BEFORE YOU SAY YES TO HOMESCHOOLING

1. Why do you want to homeschool? 

What are your reasons for homeschooling? What are your motives? Will your reasons benefit your children? You need to establish the why’s first before you say yes to homeschooling.

2. Do I have enough materials and conducive environment needed for learning?

The World Wide Web is full of free printable materials you could use to teach your child. There are also online schools where you can enroll your child for a guided curriculum. However, learning doesn’t stop with having all the materials you need to teach something to your child. Aside from printable sheets, what other materials do you plan to use when teaching? Do you have enough space at home that you can use as a classroom?

3. Am I qualified to homeschool? 

You don’t need a PhD to become your child’s teacher. In fact, every parent is equipped to teach their child. The question is, can you do it? Do you have enough patience to handle your kids’ tantrums in case they decide it’s “No school day today?”

4. Is homeschooling agreed upon by both parents? 

Are you and your spouse on the same page when it comes to homeschooling and education? If not, then you need to think of a solution to provide the best learning environment for your child that is agreeable to you both. Homeschooling must be agreed upon by both mom and dad for this journey to be successful.

5. Are you willing to defend your choice? 

Despite the growing number of homeschooling families, homeschooling is still not a popular option in the Philippines. Surely, you will encounter people who will give you that crazy look and ask why you homeschool your kids. Can you handle the questions and possible criticisms from other people who are not in the same page with your choice?

6. Do you get enough support from other people / community? 

Aside from your husband, look for and join groups that advocate homeschooling. You can learn a lot from them and for sure, you will receive the right amount of support you need to continue and commit to your chosen mode of education.

7. Do you have realistic expectations? 

What do you plan to achieve by the end of the year? Are you willing to be flexible with your goals? Expectations must be realistic and dependent on your kids’ abilities as well.

8. How do you plan to carry out learning at home? 

This should be defined clearly – methods of teaching, materials to be used, how to promote learning outside the home, and the like. This is the reason why I realized homeschooling is not the best option for us. I cannot clearly identify what I plan to achieve at the end of the school year and how I will carry out learning both in and out of the home.

The good news is there are homeschool providers that are recognized by DepEd. Explore your options first or ask recommendations from people you know who are homeschooling.

9. What about socialization?

There will always be a stereotype when it comes to homeschooled kids. As a parent, think of other ways to facilitate and encourage learning while making sure that your child can also adapt to a different environment. I think, this is where support groups come in. From what I learned, there are homeschooling groups that organize meet-ups, activities, and field trips that enable children to meet and socialize with other kids.  

10. Can you commit to homeschooling? 

This is one of the most important questions you need to answer. Homeschooling is a commitment. It has advantages and disadvantages. It’s up to you on how you want to capitalize on it.

Homeschooling or not, every family is unique. Regardless of the chosen method of learning, the important thing is that we, as parents, should provide the best learning environment for our children according to their needs and preferences.

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22 Comments

  1. Kaity

    Same here, Mommy! I considered homeschooling my 1st born, but I know from the start it’s not for me. It takes a LOT of patience and dedication and I think I will go gaga already if I homeschool pa my boys hehe (:

    Reply
    • Ayi

      Apparently, homeschooling is not for everyone 🙂

      Reply
  2. rozellevendil

    I agree with you that the most crucial part of deciding whether or not to homeschool your child is your commitment to do it. In my case, I am wishing to homeschool my first born too, but I’m afraid I won’t be able to have the commitment to do it especially that we don’t have a helper at home. There’s just so much to do at home! That is why just like you, I am so amazed to see a stay at home mom do homeschooling. Don’t worry mommy, we may not be successful in homeschooling our kids but they still learn the same lessons at a regular school. What’s most important I think is that we get to have our sanity intact, right?

    Reply
  3. mumwrites (@vixquips)

    homeschooling is not really for everybody, although it is really a very ideal way of educating our children. like you, i am also a frustrated homeschooling mum. before i finally decided to enroll my son in a brick-and-mortar school, i have tried teaching him at school when he was just a tot + i realized it was not easy. it is not probably for all children, either. it is also important that both parents agree to homeschool their children because one parent’s misgivings about it may cause problems in the future.

    in the meantime, my son will attend a traditional school, but i am not closing my doors on homeschooling him in the future.

    Reply
    • Ayi

      I have to agree with you. Homeschooling is not for everyone, especially our children. Who knows, we might be able to do that diba? 🙂

      Reply
  4. vyjae

    hindi pala pumasok yung comment ko the other day, anyways. i am also curious about homeschooling but at the same time feeling hesitant about considering it, kasi nga social interactions importante sa kids, i’m worried na if i homeschool my daughter eventually, baka mahirapan mag adjust when working with other people na.

    Reply
    • Ayi

      That’s one of my concerns too – the social side. My eldest pa naman is “tao phobia” so my husband insisted that she go to a regular school 🙂 But I heard from homeschooling parents na there are social interaction activities naman. Of course, hindi everyday yun unlike sa regular schools 🙂

      Reply
  5. May De Jesus-Palacpac

    Those are all valid considerations, at the end of the day, it’s really about whether you are called to home school your children as each family is designed differently.

    Reply
    • Ayi

      Yes mommy May 🙂 Which reminds me, you are such an amazing mom for homeschooling your kids. I don’t know if I could do what you do 🙂

      Reply
  6. Rhoda Fajardo

    Its hard. I’ve tried. Pag naglambing na hung anak Kong makulet, I give in, coz that’s what most moms do… Comfort a crying (tantruming) child. No matter what we do, our children will look at us as their mother. So its best to have them go to school and let a teacher handle it so they will meet new friends and understand what its like to get along with others.

    Reply
    • Ayi

      All parents have their own reasons why they choose to homeschool or not. There are advantages too if we enroll our kids in a traditional setting. As parents, it’s up to us to determine what works best for our kids 🙂

      Reply
  7. Balot

    I so admire stay-at-home mom’s who can fit the teacher’s role in their day-to-day activities for homeschooling. That commitment and passion, just amazing.

    Reply
  8. Mommy Levy

    I tried homeschooling for 1 year, my son and I had fun doing it. We don’t follow a strict schedule and we were able to visit places and make the trip something educational. I think my son learned a lot from the experience, but I decided to enroll him to a progressive school after a year because of “socialization”. He don’t have any siblings or cousins near us. We are also new in the neighborhood so we don’t know any kids in the area. I’m glad I found a school that have a small class size. It is perfect for my son’s need.

    Reply
    • Ayi

      That’s actually my biggest concern – the social skills. That’s why I decided to enroll my eldest in a progressive school 🙂

      Reply
  9. Peachy A.

    I admire moms who homeschool because I know that it takes a lot of dedication and work to make it happen.

    Reply
    • Ayi

      I agree Mommy Peachy 🙂

      Reply
  10. kikaysikat

    I can’t homeschool my kid because I’m not at home 🙁 It’s so tough being a working mom

    Reply
  11. Maria Teresa Figuerres

    I am not qualified to homeschool, and I don’t have the patience to teach my son the whole day every day. That’s how I knew that homeschooling is not for me. But I salute the moms who do this. They’re truly one of a kind.

    Reply
  12. Que Sullano - Gavan

    Homeschool or not, we parents are still the first and best teacher.

    Reply
    • Ayi

      I agree 🙂

      Reply
  13. Josephine

    I really admire mommies who can home school their children, coz I know I cant. 🙂 pang-part time lang carry ko! 🙂

    Reply
    • Ayi

      Same here mommy 🙂

      Reply

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I am a law student turned stay-at-home mom to two beautiful girls. Join me as I go through this journey called momma-hood. [email protected]

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